January has started, we are back at work and the “Happy New Years” are in full flow. The celebrations of the festive season are a distant memory, and we are all getting on with normal life – even if the wet weather and dark mornings and evenings make it a little gloomier. Or are we?
For some people, January might hail the start of something other than just a new year – a new life. January has been known as ‘divorce month’ for some time, indeed the first working Monday of the month – this year 8th January – is generally known as ‘divorce day’.
Research shows that more people contact a divorce and separation specialist in January than any other month (closely followed by the period immediately after the summer holidays). Google also reports that it is the day when more people search online for ‘divorce lawyer’.
It’s probably not that surprising, as the Christmas and New Year period can be a very stressful time for couples whose relationship is already experiencing difficulty. The extra pressure put on them from the need to celebrate, party or even just to ‘appear together’ can be tremendous. Add to that money issues, family – and the ever-nagging ‘need to stay together for the children’ and the bubble is just waiting to burst. Some unhappy couples decide they just can’t go on and it is time to think about themselves, their children and their future – and consult an expert in divorce and separation.
This year has extra pressures with cost of living issues and some couples are left wondering whether they can actually afford to get divorced. More and more couples are now recognising that mediation is a better choice for everyone concerned – and can save money too.
In mediation, issues can be discussed with an experienced, independent mediator who will help you to come up with a workable and practical solution that will suit your own situation and consider the things that matter to you most such as arrangements for your children and finances. This means the decisions are made by you – the people actually involved, whether you are an ex-partner, ex husband, ex-wife or parents, instead of courts and judges. Keeping this sort of control can mean that reaching agreements can be quicker – and often less costly – than taking the litigious route. Read about how mediation helped Sean and Alicia sort out issues surrounding their children and finances.
Family Matters’ director, Juliette Dalrymple, said “We understand this is a difficult time for you. At Family Matters the first appointment for everyone is on their own. At this meeting, you can find out about us, and we can talk to you about your options following your decision to separate or divorce.”
The decision to separate or divorce can come as a shock for children – especially if parents have stayed together “to get Christmas over with”. In their eyes, Christmas may have been a happy family time, and they are bound to be worried about what will happen to them – and to their parents when they separate. Mediators are trained and experienced in helping families find the best solutions and there are some, such as those at Family Matters, who are trained to work specifically with children, as child consultants, making sure that their own concerns are voiced and taken into consideration by parents when they are making decisions.
As mediation can only be entered into if both people are willing to do so, it can be less stressful than litigation and help avoid conflict, allowing the process to be more ‘constructive’ and the couple to work towards a business-like working relationship, which is better and less stressful for everyone, especially the children.
So, if you’ve decided that January is a time to look forward, and that means separation or divorce, make sure you take the right route for you. If you’re looking for professional and practical help and advice that will let you get on with your life without the cost and stress of a court case, then mediation will work for you. Contact us now to arrange your own individual meeting with one of the mediators at our nationally regarded practice who can offer the convenience of online appointments. Remember legal aid is still available for mediation in some cases and there is government funding for cases about arrangements for children. We are happy to discuss these with you before you make your appointment.
Call us now to find out more or contact us to make an appointment.
