Celebrity divorce. A journalist’s dream – perpetuated by our apparent fascination with knowing every detail of the split and our belief that for some reason, part of the price of fame for these celebrities is the total surrender of privacy.
Of course what we don’t see is the absolute devastation experienced by their families, children in particular, their friends and themselves of course. They are, after all, human, just like you and me, and divorce hurts, no matter how rich or famous you are.
2016 big year for celebrity divorce
2016 has delivered its fair share of celebrity separations already, with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, Zoe Ball and Norman Cook, and of course Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie all announcing their divorces this year.
So what hair-raising relationship details do we have to look forward to in the news in the coming months? Well Johnny and Amber have already been dragged through the mud with accusations of domestic abuse and restraining orders – and we can’t really turn a page in a newspaper or magazine, browse the web or read our social media without more sensational details of the Brangelina divorce! Does it really have to be like that?
Well – let’s hope not! Most of us want our private life to be just that – private, and celebrities – for all their PR antics – want that too when it comes to their family life. Like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, whose ‘conscious uncoupling’ (although the term led to some critical comments), were able to reach an amicable split in which the happiness and welfare of their children was paramount (and the press found very little to criticise!). Zoe and Norman have already said they remain ‘great friends’ and will continue to co-parent their children. So how have these couples have achieved, or seem to achieve, a separation out of the spotlight?
Mediation good way forward for celebrity divorce
Mediation is one way forward, reportedly favoured by separated couples like Gwyneth and Chris, Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, Tom Cruise and former spouses, and Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez as it offers many advantages over a court room battle for these high profile stars.
The first advantage is, of course, privacy – emotional and financial. Everything you discuss with a mediator is private – and remains that way unless you reach an agreement. Then it can go to a solicitor and be made legally binding on you both. This allows sensitive issues to be raised and discussed without fear of them becoming public. For celebrities, whose livelihood can rely on their ‘brand’ and image – this is a huge advantage.
Mediation helps keep celebrity reputation intact
Celebrities rely on being popular and liked. During the media frenzy, Johnny Depp’s image, whether the allegations are true or not, has taken a hit. Reputations become tarnished when private details come out as a part of their divorce. Stars affected include Liza Minnelli and David Guest when he accused her of assault and she accused him of theft. Seal and Heidi Klum appeared to have the perfect marriage – and renewed their vows, but that view was shattered when Heidi’s concern about Seal’s anger management issues was made public during their divorce. Alec Baldwin’s and Kim Bassinger’s reputations both took a tumble following her allegations of his temper and is of her mental health issues during a bitter battle about of their only child. They have since made up, apparently, – but imagine the effect on their child of the bitter, public battle. So – all publicity is not good publicity after all!
Keeping in control
Secondly, there’s the advantage that mediation allows the couple to remain in control of the decision made about their children, their finances and their futures. Mediation means important decisions, such as those about children are not made by courts and judges. Every family is different and there will be a different solution for each. Mediators are trained and experienced in helping families find the best solutions for their individual circumstance and there are some, such as those at Family Matters, who are trained to work specifically with children, as child consultants. This process allows the children’s views, such as where they should live, to be heard and taken into consideration.
Juliette Dalrymple
“Madonna and Guy Ritchie” says Family Matters director and mediator, Juliette Dalrymple, “would have reached better more workeable solutions from this service when they were battling over custody of their son, Rocco. Newspaper reports indicate Rocco wanted to live with his father in the UK and not return to USA with Madonna – and that was the result of the court case in the end. Mediation would have offered a much kinder route for Rocco and avoided a drawn out process and upheaval and unhappiness for everyone. He would have had the opportunity to be listened to by a professional and the damage to his relationship with both parents would have been avoided.”
Keeping this sort of control over the divorce often means that the divorce can be quicker than taking the court route, allowing couples to look at constructive solutions rather than destructive court processes, reducing the risk of tempers flaring as the negotiations go on – something celebrities certainly don’t want to see in the press. Celebrity relationships do appear to move quickly too, so a quick conclusion and divorce will stop any complications that new partners may introduce and the press are far less likely to be interested!
As mediation can only start if both people are willing to do so, it allows the whole process to be ‘ constructive’ so they can maintain a more positive relationship after the divorce – and that can only be good news for celebrities wanting to maintain their popularity and continue to build their careers – and bad news for the press.
Brangelina mediation?
So what’s in store for Brad and Angelina? Well it doesn’t look like they’ve decided to go down the mediation route. Angelina is said to have already hired famous Hollywood divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who recently represented Johnny Depp and has previously represented celebrities such as Heidi Klum, Maria Carey, Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian. Somewhat of a celebrity herself, and reportedly earning around £570 an hour along with a retainer of £17,000, one of Ms Wasser tactics is said to be to try to help minimise media attention. This includes encouraging different couples to announce their divorces at the same time to spread the media interest, and also encouraging them to agree settlements privately before papers are filed in court. All in all, it doesn’t appear that the tactics are completely successful, bearing in mind the media frenzy over Johnny Depp . Let’s hope she has more luck with the Brangelina brand.
But it isn’t too late for the couple to stop the press wagon. With such large bank accounts and assets to divide, work that depends on their reputations, very high profile lives, and children they say they want to protect, surely staying in control and keeping it all out of the public eye has to be beneficial to them. Family mediation offers just that and means they can maintain a degree of dignity so they can continue to raise their 6 children without their relationship as separated people destroying their ability to be separated parents.
Of course it won’t be such a juicy story for the press – but hey, surely there is enough going on in the world right now for them to write about!
