Child Inclusive Mediation - Information for Children and Young People

I have been asked if I want to speak to a mediator what’s going to happen and what does that mean for me?

Your mum and dad have been talking to a mediator about ways they can make things better for you. This might be about where you live or when you spend time with each of them.

They have decided they would like to hear what you think about what is happening at the moment, things like what is good, and what could be better. Your mum and dad have both said they are happy for you to talk to me.

Sometimes children and young people think they should sort out or stop grown-up arguments. Talking to me does not mean you have to choose or make any decisions.

It means you can talk to someone about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. I will listen to what you tell me, and you can then decide what you would like me to share with your parents.

This is your meeting, and only what you agree to will be shared with your mum and dad. You can talk to me about whatever you want, your favourite games or hobbies, your friends, or things you do at school.

The meeting can be online or in our office in Doncaster.

You can find out more and watch a film about it here:

You will be sent an email or message inviting you to speak to a Child Inclusive Mediator. This means they are specially trained to listen to what you think and how you feel.

Like any invitation, you can say “no thanks,” but I hope you will choose to take part.

These are some things children and young people have said after taking part in Child Inclusive mediation

Abbey aged 14

It was better than I thought, I was really worried, but I felt like I was listened to finally

Joe aged 11

Things are better already

Mitchell aged 13

I was anxious but the person I talked to was ok it was worth it

Case study

David, aged 12, was not spending time with his dad who lived some way away and travelled once per month to spend time with David. When David refused to see his dad, this made him angry and he blamed David’s mum, thinking she was alienating him. David’s Mum was frustrated and angry, feeling blamed for how David was reacting.

In the first meeting, both parents agreed to the CIM process, and it was agreed that a CIM mediator would listen to David so he could talk about his thoughts and feelings. Within the session, David talked about wanting to spend more time with his friends but also about ways in which he could spend time with his dad around that. This information was shared with the parents in the feedback meeting.

The parents agreed to arrange to meet for a coffee with David and his younger sister so that David could see they were trying to work together and could be together in the same place without an argument, even if it was only for a short time. The parents planned a series of short meetings so that David could spend more time with his dad and younger sister.

At the follow-up meeting, both parents confirmed that they had kept to arrangements they had agreed and David was now spending time regularly with his dad but was able to work this around spending time with his friends.