The Family Solutions Group (FSG) has released a report following its ‘language matters’ workshops in which 400 professionals, including mediators, solicitors and judges, shared what they thought were the most harmful words relating to family relationships.
The group, which was set up by the Honourable Mr Justice Cobb, believes that language that has evolved out of an adversarial legal system is accusatory and divisive and can end up increasing conflict between parents. The group’s report “Language Matters” calls for the language used relating to family relationships to be more about wellbeing and child welfare than adversity and battles. It recommends that the language follows five core principles:
- Plain English
- Personal
- Proportionate
- Problem
- Positive futures
Attendees at the group’s workshops were asked to share words that they think are the most harmful to family relationships. Custody, versus and contact were the most popular, but opponent, rights, dispute, parties, entitlement, 50:50, judgement, primary carer, fight, access, my client and applicant were also included.
The group was also asked to think about words and phrases that they believe are more acceptable when dealing with family relationships and they suggested using first names, collaboration and problem solving, as well as together, our children and co-parenting.
Other popular helpful words and phrases included: communication, sharing, solutions, amicable, compassion, responsibility, respect and family.
Juliette Dalrymple, Family Matters’ director commented:
“Here at Family Matters, we are committed to the use of positive language which does not reinforce the conflict. I am always surprised when I hear people who have a child or children together referring to the other parent of their child as the other party or Mr/Mrs X and wonder what the children make of this.
Our summaries focus on time spent in each parent’s care, recognising each parent has an important role to play in a child’s life.”
The Right Honourable Sir Andrew McFarlane, President of the Family Division, who addressed the webinar said:
“It’s blindingly obvious that the language we have been using is not appropriate and only goes to stoke the minds of those in a combative mindset, rather than direct them in a different way.”
The FSG also commissioned a separate survey involving 228 respondents. 86% agreed that using plain language instead of jargon would be better and 76% thought that using first names rather than words such as applicant would be better.
You can read the full Language Matters paper here.
