All disputes relating to children are stressful for those involved, especially the children themselves, whether private or public proceedings. However, despite the fact that there are more than twice as many private law applications as public law applications, very little is known about children’s views and experiences of private law proceedings and how they are affected by them.
With this in mind, Nuffield Family Justice Observatory has recently published a report – Children’s experience of private law proceedings: six key messages from research. It summarises information from UK and international research carried out over the last 20 years looking at children’s and young people’s views and experience relating to parental separation.
The report says that the current research is limited and there is a clear need for updated research in England and Wales. It highlights that much of the existing research was carried out in the early 2000s and usually relates to children aged 10 plus, whereas court proceedings are known to affect children under the age of 10 more than older children. The report also shows that existing research lacks attention to ethnicity, gender, sexuality and wider socioeconomic circumstances and how the children’s experience might vary depending on such factors.
However, the research shows that children are actively involved in parental separation and court proceedings, and it identifies six key messages that they say must be addressed. They are summarised by Nuffield Family Justice Observatory as:
1. Parental separation can be distressing, traumatic and confusing
Parental separation can be highly stressful for children and can have a big impact on their lives. For some, this impact can last into adulthood. The court system should be set up to try to minimise stress and harm rather than add to it.
2. Good communication and access to information are important
Children often feel left in the dark about what is happening throughout their parents’ separation and the court process. In some cases, children know more about what is going on than adults realise but are not always given the accurate and timely information they want. Attempts by adults to hide what is going on can in fact cause significant stress for children. Professionals should take an active role in ensuring children have access to adequate information presented in child- focused ways.
3. Being heard and understood in court can feel empowering
Children overwhelmingly feel unheard in court proceedings. This causes them significant distress. When children did report positive experiences of participation, this was linked to them experiencing the decisions made more positively. Some studies highlighted that simple changes—such as communicating the final decision in a child-friendly way and ensuring children were aware proceedings had started and what that meant—could make children feel more listened to.
4. Being properly involved and consulted in decision making is important
Many children want to be more involved in decision making. There are different ways children can be supported to share their views and different children may want different things. There is an important distinction to be drawn between children wanting their views to be listened to and taken seriously and children wanting responsibility for the final decision.
5. Getting the right support makes a difference
Children may have to engage with a lot of professionals while their parents are going through separation. Professionals need to ensure these interactions are sensitive and supportive, and that they demonstrate an understanding of how serious these issues are for the children involved. Support can make a difference for children, and we need to think about how to improve support in the community, including from schools, for children.
6. Thoughts and feelings on contact are complex and take time to process
Generally, children will have views about contact (this is where they live and how much time they spend with each parent) with some serious thought behind them. But they also need time and support to be able to consider their views, especially where domestic abuse is a factor.
The report clearly indicates that children can feel anxious and upset when left out of decisions made by their separating parents and the courts. It says that children feel that they need more support and guidance, and courts and professionals need to communicate with them about the processes more clearly.
Children’s views can be included in parental decision making in child inclusive mediation. You can find out more about this on our web pages.
Family Matters is fortunate to have two child inclusive mediators. Family Matters’ director, Juliette Dalrymple, says:
“There is an increasing understanding of the importance of hearing and understanding children’s views within the context of family separation. Family Matters has led the way in the practice standards in this area.”
Read the full report here – Children’s experience of private law proceedings: six key messages from research.
